You’re Killing Him

Oh curse these hands! / They didn’t heal you!

I had hoped we’de be happy; / But that dream’s too far gone

Lying in a pool of blood; / This gun in my hand. / I killed you with it

Can I take back what I see? / You broke my heart and now you’re gone…

I don’t know why I did it/ You shouldn’t have pushed! / But I was wrong to seek you out

I close the door – leaving the dark to engulf you in. / oh they find me. / Little demons ripping at my heart.

You stay where you are / Don’t come alive. Don’t seek me / I’ll only tear you…apart

I still love you, but I’ve seen what I have become / I’ll change; so not to hurt / But it’s too late for us / Pack up your blood, and travel where you’ll be loved.

I won’t miss…you

It’s a lie

I often find myself writing things like this; I haven’t yet figured out why these works are called! Sometimes I have a vague idea of what I’m writing; but more often the words just flow from me and I don’t really know what I am writing. Afterward, when the flood is gone, I’ll look back over what I wrote, edit it, and then a story behind the words comes to my mind. I think that most of them are from God, as I feel I could ever write these on my own whim!

THE STORY BEHID THE WORK: The ‘writter’ is a woman, standing in a cement room with barred one window that lets blue light seep a little bit through. There is a metal door behind the woman who stands in full black leather…a pistol in her hand. At her feet is someone – a man- laying in his face, dark chrism pooling in a circle around him.

The woman comes from this story I read in Prepeairing to be A Healp Meet by Debi Pearl (link at end of post) and there was a woman who had torn her husband up and down with her words and attitudes until he decided to leave her. Long story short, he ended up finding another to love, who would treat him better.

So in my writing, the killer is a woman, who, represents a wife who has ‘killed’ her man by the words she used.

“Oh curse these hands!” She was supposed to be his helper, to comfort and, we’ll, help him and build him up. But she never used this great gift for him.

“Little demons riling at my heart.” Was originally going to be the police seeking her out; but then I decided it to be memories of what she’s done and the guilt.

“You stay where you are / don’t come alive….” She does not want her man to come back to her; she knows that though she has changed, she wants him to go some where else and be loved. By someone else who will not make the same mistakes that she did and ruin him again.

“I still love you…” Though she loves him desperately, it is the same story as above. She promises to change, but just cannot take the risk of him coming back to her again.

“Pack up your blood….” He has another that will love him; and the woman encourages him to do so. Though she will be angry at him, she just does not want to hurt the man again; let another do what she never did.

I was leaning up against shelves of folded tank tops in Walmart, pushing the shopping cart slightly back and forth with my toe; trying not to look too crazy with TEN loafs of bread, FOUR jugs of milk, SIX dozen eggs, FOUR cases of water (the pipes are full of rust from previous earthquakes.) and a thousand other items that stacked well above the cart while I waited for my Mom to come…. with the second cart. (Struggles of a large family 🙈) An old, bending man came down the isle I was in; pushing his heavy wife in her wheelchair – and a full shopping cart in the other hand! He was rushing around grabbing all the things his wife demanded for him to grab or for her to look at. I was thinking about how sweet this man was, specially as he seemed to be in more pain than his wife in the shopping cart! but I was shocked, his wife was yelling at him and constantly berating him, telling him that he never did anything right and how (litteraly) stupid and irritating he was! She was acting like SHE was better than him and he was stupid. (Often the view of men these days) He husband was being so sweet and not uttering a sing word the interest time, but just going back to the same shelve five times or more until the woman dedcided exactly what color she wanted. I really wanted to just go up to her and say, “If you spent less time trying to fix your man, and just enjoy him for who he truly is; you’ll both be so happy!” Regretfully, I let fear overcome me and I wanted them both leave. I waited for another ten minutes before mom came, in guilt at having missed such an obvious moment form God; then asked him to forgive me and somehow let that woman know the truth!!

Serksuly, nothing more needs to be said; If you STOP trying to FIX you man, and just ENJOY him for who he IS; then you’ll both me SO much more happy! Please, notice how sweet your man TRULY is ladies! It’s always irking me the way society treats men these days; they really are truly trying! Let’s not murder them with our actions and words, and use these hands that were placed in their’s that white day. 🙂

And now some of my photography of Dad (sense I’m not married lol) to express this post….

While openair preaching, Dad takes a break to pray for words

At a whole town event, doing some Christian rap to reach those crazy kids out there!

Two day preaching trip in New Orleans. Boy was that car a sweaty place to sleep in!!

A weekend preaching trip in New York

Praying in Alaska before a teaching video

Love you Dad!

Preparing to be a Help Meet: http://nogreaterjoy.org/blogs/preparingtobeahelpmeet/book/

No Greater Joy: https://nogreaterjoy.org/

New Orleans Preaching Trip: https://youtu.be/HXlMY3cXJK0

Speak Life: https://youtu.be/ZeBv9r92VQ0

Thank you for taking the time to read ya’ll!

~My Life as a Photographer

You Know Better Than I

With graceful fingers he perfectly sculpted the nose to do everything that would keep our lungs beating, pumping the oxygen he also created through the blood and to our heart. With his p mouth he pushed his very own breath into the start of humanity.

Watching, with of so much love He knew they wouldn’t ever grasp, God looked apon the very start of the human race; look forward to spending eternities with his most prized possessions.

Look, if this dude literally created us from a rib and dust, with His own fingers, then can’t he plan our destinies?

We are always so worried about what our futer will hold, and how to get there and accomplish our life’s calling. Why can’t we put our very lives into the palm that held our heart on Day One?

We get upset when things in our life don’t go the way that we want; when we cannot understand what’s happening, or see things in the world that bother us and make us question our creator. While you should totally have questions; just think of this- if God was wise enough the create every vein to do its biddding, the sun to be the perfect distance away from the earth so that life will perfectly grown; the eyes are more complicated than a while octopuse— He created this very body that you are living; can’t He, for Pete’s sake, know what He’s doing with His world, and YOU?

Find more answers in the captions below some of my photography that expresses God’s creation and perfection.

“Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”

-Genesis 18:25

“He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. 
That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.“ -Romans 8:27-28

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him.”
-Romans 8:28-29

“After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.”
-Romans 8:30

“So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose?” -Romans 8:31

“If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us?”
-Romans 8:32

“And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? 
34 Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us – who was raised to life for us! – is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us.”
-Romans 8:33-34

“Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: 
They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one. 
None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us.”

-Romans 8:35-37

“So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose?”

-Romans 8:31 

Key to the Soul

Whenever we wonder what is happening inside them, we look to the eyes. Eyes are the window to the souls. While the mouth may say one thing, the eye will betray with a flick of innner emotion. Watch as these pictures reflect the eye of the beholder…

Alaska man… when it is so cold outside, breath becomes frost.

When you, a Photographer, want to capture the subject’s eyes and emotions; you don’t neccisarily have to zoom right up into their face, or ask them to portray a certain emotion. Just take the picture, then later, edit and zoom up into the face (as I’ve done with all the photos here) to focus more on the eyes. Real, non propped emotion, will show through more real than ‘forced’.

This was totaly unposed! Bella walked up behind me, and I just “snapped.” Now this is one of my most loved photos…because it displays an emotion through the eyes.
Photographers do not like shadows, but I play with them. Even though there is a lot of other things in background, Hosanna’s eyes are so big they draw you in; thus making the photo.
This was taken when I first got my Canon, and didn’t know how to focus on both subjects. Though, despite the background disturbance, I think this photo really focuses on his eyes. (And charming smile)
I can’t help but just stare at this photo—those are REAL lashes and REAL eye color! 💜
The very first day I ever wore makeup…Do my eyes tell how joyful I am to be able to cover up acne??
She wanted to be a snow queen. How could I resist those eyes?!
All attitude and fire…captured through the key to her soul. (The Art of Life)
While most newborn photos are of the entire baby, I wanted to try a zoom. Now, that Zephaniah is three months old, I think his eyes described his thoughts of his first twelve-hours in the world! 😀
Hey, who says you can only capture human eye?? This screaming adorable photo qcredit goes to The Art of Life (on WordPress)
p.s Mocha was only doing “big eyes” cause she wanted the camera.:D
A raw photo; beautiful, dirty nails and all.

So, did my photos tell stories through the eyes? If they did, I hope I inspired you to “capture eyes.” It really is very easy, not as hard as it may seem or sound. You don’t have to blur everything around the subject’s eyes, or have some high-tech-zooming-lens…just take the picture, and edit or manually zoom in on you device—or leave the photo the way it is. Either way, the eye will always speak.

“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!” -Mathew 6:22-23

~My Life as a Photographer

Capturing Alaska’s Mountains in Pictures

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.”

-Isaiah 54:10

Pictures can canpture a thousand words, as the saying goes. Words can transporting us to different times and worlds; bringing nations together, or tearing them apart. Words are powerful; but a picture can sometimes speak more than all the words in the world can.

Pictures capture an art; the art of the person in front of the lense, their feelings. It can capture the feel of mystic lakes and mountains. Tell a story through eyes. Pictures speak where words cannot.

Just like photos, mountains are a thing to be seen and marveled at. They “ask us to ponder our inner being.” As Jane Kirkpatrick said in her book “Everything she didn’t say.” Mountains also draw us to find their creator—God. Through mountains, people, sense the dawn of time, have found consoles in them. That is why I wish to share a glimpse of the mountains I breath under with you…

As the mountains reflect themselves in the puddles, so one can reflect and see oneself here; in the quite with God.
Nature, animals, and people all in one breathtaking scene.
Sometimes, to capture a photo, you must look at it from a different angle.
I really like how this captured a feeling~ that is every photographer’s wish; to capture the feelings of whatever is on the other side of the lense.
No face will sometimes tell a better story.
“The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing — to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from…”
– C.S Lewis, Till We Have Faces
Sun, mountains and a dog—-some of the best happinesses in the whole world!
Ice from the glaciers breaks loose as more snow falls in the mountains. The ice flows through the rivers, freezing them into solid ice-packs
Often, non-purposeful posinging is the very best kind of posing.
As my hat says—Alaska.
Laying on the ice is always worth it-unless you break through of course!
Sisters make stories together 💜
His face tells the story; The object stands out.
“It was when I was happiest that I longed most…The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing…to find the place where all the beauty came from.” 
― C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces
In the darkest season of the year, a splash of sunshine!
The calming…the peace…the joy…the beauty…the light
“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”

― Albert Camus

“How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, “Your God reigns!” -Isaiah 52:7