You’re Killing Him

Oh curse these hands! / They didn’t heal you!

I had hoped we’de be happy; / But that dream’s too far gone

Lying in a pool of blood; / This gun in my hand. / I killed you with it

Can I take back what I see? / You broke my heart and now you’re gone…

I don’t know why I did it/ You shouldn’t have pushed! / But I was wrong to seek you out

I close the door – leaving the dark to engulf you in. / oh they find me. / Little demons ripping at my heart.

You stay where you are / Don’t come alive. Don’t seek me / I’ll only tear you…apart

I still love you, but I’ve seen what I have become / I’ll change; so not to hurt / But it’s too late for us / Pack up your blood, and travel where you’ll be loved.

I won’t miss…you

It’s a lie

I often find myself writing things like this; I haven’t yet figured out why these works are called! Sometimes I have a vague idea of what I’m writing; but more often the words just flow from me and I don’t really know what I am writing. Afterward, when the flood is gone, I’ll look back over what I wrote, edit it, and then a story behind the words comes to my mind. I think that most of them are from God, as I feel I could ever write these on my own whim!

THE STORY BEHID THE WORK: The ‘writter’ is a woman, standing in a cement room with barred one window that lets blue light seep a little bit through. There is a metal door behind the woman who stands in full black leather…a pistol in her hand. At her feet is someone – a man- laying in his face, dark chrism pooling in a circle around him.

The woman comes from this story I read in Prepeairing to be A Healp Meet by Debi Pearl (link at end of post) and there was a woman who had torn her husband up and down with her words and attitudes until he decided to leave her. Long story short, he ended up finding another to love, who would treat him better.

So in my writing, the killer is a woman, who, represents a wife who has ‘killed’ her man by the words she used.

“Oh curse these hands!” She was supposed to be his helper, to comfort and, we’ll, help him and build him up. But she never used this great gift for him.

“Little demons riling at my heart.” Was originally going to be the police seeking her out; but then I decided it to be memories of what she’s done and the guilt.

“You stay where you are / don’t come alive….” She does not want her man to come back to her; she knows that though she has changed, she wants him to go some where else and be loved. By someone else who will not make the same mistakes that she did and ruin him again.

“I still love you…” Though she loves him desperately, it is the same story as above. She promises to change, but just cannot take the risk of him coming back to her again.

“Pack up your blood….” He has another that will love him; and the woman encourages him to do so. Though she will be angry at him, she just does not want to hurt the man again; let another do what she never did.

I was leaning up against shelves of folded tank tops in Walmart, pushing the shopping cart slightly back and forth with my toe; trying not to look too crazy with TEN loafs of bread, FOUR jugs of milk, SIX dozen eggs, FOUR cases of water (the pipes are full of rust from previous earthquakes.) and a thousand other items that stacked well above the cart while I waited for my Mom to come…. with the second cart. (Struggles of a large family 🙈) An old, bending man came down the isle I was in; pushing his heavy wife in her wheelchair – and a full shopping cart in the other hand! He was rushing around grabbing all the things his wife demanded for him to grab or for her to look at. I was thinking about how sweet this man was, specially as he seemed to be in more pain than his wife in the shopping cart! but I was shocked, his wife was yelling at him and constantly berating him, telling him that he never did anything right and how (litteraly) stupid and irritating he was! She was acting like SHE was better than him and he was stupid. (Often the view of men these days) He husband was being so sweet and not uttering a sing word the interest time, but just going back to the same shelve five times or more until the woman dedcided exactly what color she wanted. I really wanted to just go up to her and say, “If you spent less time trying to fix your man, and just enjoy him for who he truly is; you’ll both be so happy!” Regretfully, I let fear overcome me and I wanted them both leave. I waited for another ten minutes before mom came, in guilt at having missed such an obvious moment form God; then asked him to forgive me and somehow let that woman know the truth!!

Serksuly, nothing more needs to be said; If you STOP trying to FIX you man, and just ENJOY him for who he IS; then you’ll both me SO much more happy! Please, notice how sweet your man TRULY is ladies! It’s always irking me the way society treats men these days; they really are truly trying! Let’s not murder them with our actions and words, and use these hands that were placed in their’s that white day. 🙂

And now some of my photography of Dad (sense I’m not married lol) to express this post….

While openair preaching, Dad takes a break to pray for words

At a whole town event, doing some Christian rap to reach those crazy kids out there!

Two day preaching trip in New Orleans. Boy was that car a sweaty place to sleep in!!

A weekend preaching trip in New York

Praying in Alaska before a teaching video

Love you Dad!

Preparing to be a Help Meet: http://nogreaterjoy.org/blogs/preparingtobeahelpmeet/book/

No Greater Joy: https://nogreaterjoy.org/

New Orleans Preaching Trip: https://youtu.be/HXlMY3cXJK0

Speak Life: https://youtu.be/ZeBv9r92VQ0

Thank you for taking the time to read ya’ll!

~My Life as a Photographer

You Know Better Than I

With graceful fingers he perfectly sculpted the nose to do everything that would keep our lungs beating, pumping the oxygen he also created through the blood and to our heart. With his p mouth he pushed his very own breath into the start of humanity.

Watching, with of so much love He knew they wouldn’t ever grasp, God looked apon the very start of the human race; look forward to spending eternities with his most prized possessions.

Look, if this dude literally created us from a rib and dust, with His own fingers, then can’t he plan our destinies?

We are always so worried about what our futer will hold, and how to get there and accomplish our life’s calling. Why can’t we put our very lives into the palm that held our heart on Day One?

We get upset when things in our life don’t go the way that we want; when we cannot understand what’s happening, or see things in the world that bother us and make us question our creator. While you should totally have questions; just think of this- if God was wise enough the create every vein to do its biddding, the sun to be the perfect distance away from the earth so that life will perfectly grown; the eyes are more complicated than a while octopuse— He created this very body that you are living; can’t He, for Pete’s sake, know what He’s doing with His world, and YOU?

Find more answers in the captions below some of my photography that expresses God’s creation and perfection.

“Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”

-Genesis 18:25

“He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. 
That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.“ -Romans 8:27-28

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him.”
-Romans 8:28-29

“After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.”
-Romans 8:30

“So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose?” -Romans 8:31

“If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us?”
-Romans 8:32

“And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? 
34 Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us – who was raised to life for us! – is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us.”
-Romans 8:33-34

“Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: 
They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one. 
None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us.”

-Romans 8:35-37

“So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose?”

-Romans 8:31 

Key to the Soul

Whenever we wonder what is happening inside them, we look to the eyes. Eyes are the window to the souls. While the mouth may say one thing, the eye will betray with a flick of innner emotion. Watch as these pictures reflect the eye of the beholder…

Alaska man… when it is so cold outside, breath becomes frost.

When you, a Photographer, want to capture the subject’s eyes and emotions; you don’t neccisarily have to zoom right up into their face, or ask them to portray a certain emotion. Just take the picture, then later, edit and zoom up into the face (as I’ve done with all the photos here) to focus more on the eyes. Real, non propped emotion, will show through more real than ‘forced’.

This was totaly unposed! Bella walked up behind me, and I just “snapped.” Now this is one of my most loved photos…because it displays an emotion through the eyes.
Photographers do not like shadows, but I play with them. Even though there is a lot of other things in background, Hosanna’s eyes are so big they draw you in; thus making the photo.
This was taken when I first got my Canon, and didn’t know how to focus on both subjects. Though, despite the background disturbance, I think this photo really focuses on his eyes. (And charming smile)
I can’t help but just stare at this photo—those are REAL lashes and REAL eye color! 💜
The very first day I ever wore makeup…Do my eyes tell how joyful I am to be able to cover up acne??
She wanted to be a snow queen. How could I resist those eyes?!
All attitude and fire…captured through the key to her soul. (The Art of Life)
While most newborn photos are of the entire baby, I wanted to try a zoom. Now, that Zephaniah is three months old, I think his eyes described his thoughts of his first twelve-hours in the world! 😀
Hey, who says you can only capture human eye?? This screaming adorable photo qcredit goes to The Art of Life (on WordPress)
p.s Mocha was only doing “big eyes” cause she wanted the camera.:D
A raw photo; beautiful, dirty nails and all.

So, did my photos tell stories through the eyes? If they did, I hope I inspired you to “capture eyes.” It really is very easy, not as hard as it may seem or sound. You don’t have to blur everything around the subject’s eyes, or have some high-tech-zooming-lens…just take the picture, and edit or manually zoom in on you device—or leave the photo the way it is. Either way, the eye will always speak.

“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!” -Mathew 6:22-23

~My Life as a Photographer

Capturing the Mountains of Alaska

Something we know Alaska for besides its cold and snow, is its mountains.

Where ever you go, the mountains follow. They tower above, making you feel small in such a breath-taking world. Throught the seasons, the mountains change colors— In Winter, they are blue and sparkeling white, reflecting the ever changing colors of the Northers sky. In Spring, green begins to, well, spring! Through the months of Spring, green slowly starts creeping along the mountains as our rivers fill and flood with the me,ting snow and glaciers. In Summer, flowers sprout up, each in their own season. (as well as the insects!) In fall, you will go to bed one night, and awake the nesting morning to find the mountains suddenly yellow. Throught fall, the mountains change into fiery shades of yellows, oranges, and reds. I truly thing they are at their best in the fall months. The maintains reflect onto the lakes and somehow found their way into my lens as well!

This ever flowing, ever changing, river is right across the highway from us, so we go down often. During the winter, it is eather flowing with ice chunks as in this picture, or frozen in small places so that my siblings and I can skate on it. Our two chocolate labs, Mocha and Hazel (shown here) will still swim-even if the water is -20! Their fur gets full of icicles and thier whiskers freeze. 😀
You can see one of the famous glaciers of Alaska here.
One of my favorite things to snap is the people walking in front of me-often in front of mountains.
Sometimes, a picture without makeup or airbrush, is the best beauty.
Here, the mountains are reflecting a pink sunset.
The mountains in transition between fall and winter, bust still warm enough to wear shorts!
The mountains during the summer/fall transition.
Yes, she wore this outfit quite often! 😀
As everyone knows, photographing animals is very hard to do! The best I ever get, is our dogs licking 😀 Still, it’s sweet.
The grass was still green when the mountains were turning white.
My sisters and I actually did this pose in our room, decided it looked so good, that we wanted a better background. This was around Thanksgiving. (American)
My view everyday.
Ah, I miss the green of plants! Spring, fall and winter all in one here!
Mountains make good backgrounds for cute sibling photos! >3

I could post tons and tons of mountain photos, as a lot of my backdrops are the mountains. Alaska is surrounded by mountains, and, in my opinion, it’s best beauty.

Stunning New Snow Photos (and funny accidents!)

Props are super useful when shooting. They give another element to the photo and something else for the viewer to look at. The book here, Everything She Didn’ Say by Jane Kirkpatrick, was just sitting on my dresser and I grabbed it! You should also have a backpack handy to carry all you props in (don’t add to many into the photo or it’ll look crowded!) I pay my siblings (10 of us) a couple dollars to follow me around during my shoots to carry my props!
The lens beams are real here, but you can add them in the Enlight app from the AppStore.
Am I eating the snow or blowing it? Funny story- I use coconut oil to moisten my hair. Our water was down that day so didn’t get to wash the oil out from the night before. I had twisted the sides of my hair and put them up in a twisted bun for the photos, but then had decided it didn’t look right. When I undid my hair, the coconut had frozen in the -12 f Alaska weather and my hair remained wonderfully styled! Now I recommend this for long photo shoots—unless tour water is down!
My sister, Isabella ended walking up behind me and I just shot her photo—look how amazing it turned out!! This is what I call “spur of the moment” photography; the best in my oppinion!
I shot this one right before Joy (MyBrush&Me on WorldPress.com) was about to blow the snow. Her face gave the photo a dramatic look—and a bit fierce!
When taking a photo, try to look at what you are shooting from all different angles. This one was originally Glorianna posing on a large old rusted can. Her face, with the wind, caught my eye so I zoomed into her face. If you are afraid or don’t like getting close into your model’s face, you can use a large lease, but then you’ll have to switch it out with your normal shooting lense often. When shooting in the cold—the quickest things are the best! 😀

This photo shoot in December was super fun and got many more ideas for other shoots flowing! You can read about them in my other blog posts.

Editing apps:

PhotoRus

How to Edit Using PhotoRus

Want to know how to edit your photos with natural makeup, add light without all the hard formats and good filters and a natural looking face? Join me in using the PhotoRus app! (You can get on your iPad or iPhone in the AppStore)

Open PhotoRus and select “beauty” then select a photo
Select “Auto Retouch” for airbrush (the airbrush on PhotoRus tends to add too much white to the faces so I usually use Airbrush app instead and then finish editing up here on PhotoRus.)


Select which number best cleans the face without adding too much white.
Dont worry about getting all the marks off of the face, you will do that in another section, this just gets most of it away to save time and softens the face. Click the check mark when you are finished.
Next select “blemeshes”
Select “manual”
Zoom into the part (s) of the face that you want to touch-up. Tap on the marks you wan to remove to remove them. You can select different sizes of removal by selecting one of the dots below near the check mark. Remove all the spots you desire and select done.
Tip: the dot I have already selected would probably be the best size as the bigger ones leave “folds” on the skin.
Now we are going to use “eyebag” to clear up the face and remove eye bags as they can be unprofessional in proper model/ photography
Again select “manual”


Swipe along the face to remove “blemishes” and the rim below the eye bag to remove.
Select “cleareyes” and “manual”
Swipe along the mouth to darken and shine without having to add manual makeup and ending up with something that does not look real.
Swip other parts of tha face, hair or other desired places to make the, stand out much more. You should also swirl on the eyes once or twice to make them stand out more.
Outline the person or object in the picture several times to make it stand out more than the background. You’ll want to select the bigger circle for this. I, myself, really like using this feature.
Tip: try not to draw on the actual photo so you don’t get a dark line along it.
If you want, you can select “makeup” and add some.
Remeber: just be careful to make sure it looks real!
I will sometimes fill in the brows if they are not already done.
Add a bit more lash if you desire, to bring out the eye.
If the “airbrush” has whitened the face too much, add some darker “foundation” to return the face to its original color. Just be careful-this can all make the face look too painted and fake! The foundation also darken the ENTIRE photo.
Now we have our before and…
After!
This phot does have a metal-tintid look (what I wanted) to it and is obviously not real. You can tone down the “cleareye” to take away some of it though.

So PhotoRus isn’t the best or my favorite to use on faces, though the “eyebag” is the best out of all the apps I have used before and I always use it for the feature. The “cleareye” I also use all the time and I have to say it does improve your photos.

Read my other blog posts to find apps that better fix up and improve your photos!